The Question

The Question

 

As I continue writing, I find I'm feeling a bit of an emotional disconnect with my content. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. It simply is. See, writing Rienspel's sequel is hard. (I know, I know, I think I already covered this in a previous post...) I think it bares repeating and lamenting, though. I know others have told me emotional disconnect is a good thing when you're writing, because you can't be held hostage by it, in turn. However, the way I primarily Make Good Art is an intensely emotional, personal process most of the time. I sit down, write, and bleed. Especially when it comes to Rien and Rienspel. I realize first novels can be awfully stereotypical. Mine's no exception. It's a 3rd person omnipotent coming-of-age fantasy. Some would even fling the mewling complaint, "It's just wish-fulfillment"...

And yeah... it might be... but do you blame prisoners for wanting to be free? And yeah, I am projecting a bit... or at least I was... but we grow up (and if we're especially sharp, we keep growing, even later on). Rien is no longer me any more - and I am no longer him, either. We came to a forking path in the forest one day, and we both took our roads less traveled, in accordance to who we are. Our stories are leading us different ways... We are still brothers, for sure. We share many things and ways. But I'll be damned if somebody looks down their noses at us. We're both proud of what we are, whatever that is - whoever that is.

Yes, I realize he's a fictional character of my creation. It's a book I wrote which is currently sitting, locked in time and space, inside various computers and drives... But when you create something, when you use your heart and your mind, your soul and your love, I think you can bring something entirely MORE into the world for other people, in turn, to love and care and hope for too.

I envy Rien a lot. (yeah, I just used 'a lot' - it's me and it's how I actually talk). I love the idea of being able to wander The Great Forest in autumn time. I'm fascinated with hidden wonders and ruins of times long ago. I furiously believe Man was not meant to bide his days desk-bound - it wounds the soul. If you could forget your life - your consequences- your responsibilities - your upbringing's life assumptions- and simply BE and DO... what would you do? Who would you be?

This Question is the genesis of Rienspel.

It comes out this Halloween - the same night the first few pages take place in the story.

And whether you chose to ultimately read it or not, maybe your own deeper questions can find their voice, too. What question does your own heart and soul ask over and over again? Once you can put words to it - what will you do about it?

...


In the meantime, while you await the Fall release of Rienspel, and while I struggle on to write its' sequel, May the Sun Illumine You Path, and Light By Stars Where Else...

- Ryan

PS

The Grey Isle Tale is now available on Amazon - Prince Janos and friends, likewise, have their own Questions to answer, too!

On Despondency

On Despondency

"To have what we want is riches; but to be able to do without is power."

- George MacDonald 

 

 
I will write until something comes to mind. Sometimes it's good just to let yourself wander. After all, as the infamous Mr Baggins once wrote, "Not all who wander are lost." The quote is on a piece of art hanging up next to me in my office; I think it serves as timely reminder for us all. Since writing can often be a bit of a head game, despondency can be a real creative killer. When it's basically up to you, the writer, to keep going, the long lonely stretches can be challenging...

One of the things I've learned along the way, is how by continuing to write you build muscles. When I first read in Stephen King's On Writing how he types about 4,000 words a day, I was admittedly staggered. Immediately, my mind went from awe, to jealousy, to disbelief, and finally to dreaded despondency. How could I EVER write that much on a regular basis, I grumbled. Likewise, on Amazon's new author updates I receive, I'm bombarded by all these smiling, successful authors who gush about their dedication to their art.

And then there's me. I'm lucky to find spare moments to peck out a few pages at a time, much less dedicate scheduled time for 'making good art'. What's to be done for the rest of us regulars?

Keep going.

Any way you can - do it. Only you can express it. Only you can write it just so.

Also, remember you're not Stephen King. You're (probably) not any of those gushy, successful new authors featured in Amazon newsletters, either.... But you're you. (and they're not; in fact, nobody else in all existence is) So long as you keep going as best you can, your work continues to live and grow and ultimately, be yours.

One of the types of stories I like to read are about near-death-experiences. (I know, I know, please forgive the apparent randomness) In some of them, they describe a sort of library filled with all the books ever written. For a fantasy-writer like myself, this sort of material is gold! Imagine, a place where every book ever written exists (including your own). In these descriptions, in this library, there resides a large wing filled with all the books and stories which exist but were never actually written. Whether you believe in this sort of stuff is entirely up to you, of course - but I think the notion remains rather sobering.

What great wonders and heart-felt treasures never grace the earth because someone never wrote them down?

Now, I don't tell you all this to shame you or guilt you or anything like that - but to remind you, what you write, big or small, great or just for fun, matters. We write for ourselves and other people. We write because we must. We type and scribble on because we love to. We write because It Matters.

We are given each day what we need to keep going, and sometimes we must be forced to slow down in order to appreciate it. Sometimes (*gasp, dare I admit), we need to be stressed, tired, and generally over-worked, so we are forced to go back and shelter in what we love best. And as we stumble on, we must look around with new eyes upon the everyday, in order to see the mundane afresh. When we next pick up the keyboard or pen, we're ready to bring keen literary life into our world. Our hands may be callused and weary as we write, but they're still our own. They make each word we spell and each sentence we string that much more ours.

So come marauding dragons or long boring work-weeks - Write on.

"Good night and joy be with you all"

- Ryan

"We All Need A little Help From Our Friends"

My back deck last year, along with one of our cats, Baldur. -RPF

A couple of the things I've learned over the course of this whole writing endeavor is to value good friends; and the other is to do what makes you happy (and not what you think ought to make you happy).

Case-in-point, the other day I was coming home from work. My driveway is rather long-ish, so I usually come in the back of my house. It's the first thing I see (besides my bounding dogs) when I come home, and it's the last thing I see before heading out again. So yesterday when I got home, it struck me how bare my back deck was... Then later on that evening, just after sunset I stepped back outside to simply sit outside my backdoor, drink some iced-coffee I accidentally bought, and watch the stars come out. After a some time, I got this gradual image in my head about how sitting out there would be even better if I were surrounded by flowers...

The image stuck with me through till the next day, so after work, I went out to Lowes and loaded up on a smattering of my favorite flowery plants and vines, then swung back home and got to work gardening the place up.

Why do I relate a random story? Well, honestly, because it makes me happy to garden outside. I believe writing is the ultimate self-expression. If you're tired, stressed, harried, and otherwise indisposed, how... how on God's green Earth are you going to be able to create good art?

I've come to learn in order to write at your best, one of the essentials is to cultivate your own life. Look, I know life is what it is sometimes... and I know most of us can't simply generate levitating-zen-inner-peace or anything (most of the time), but we can strive to be self-aware and purposeful about how we live our lives.

Since I expanded my garden, instead of moping about the house, begrudging the inevitable siren-call of work in the morning - I was outside instead. Watering-can in hand, I dallianced amid the columbines, trumpeter vines, and pansies. Now I'm cheerfully pecking out another post, all because I did a simple little thing I like to do.

Another part of this cultivating yourself notion, is to be aware of who lifts you up? Which friends help you? Who is ready to hang out - chat - drive around town with you? Likewise- are you this sort of person for someone else?

DANGER!

As you read that last sentence, did you feel a lighting flash of guilt? STOP IT. To the best of your ability, don't live your life on 'ought to's' and 'should's'. What do you want to do? I mean, seriously. Yeah yeah, we all have responsibilities and work - but don't box yourself in. Don't laden your own creativity and don't fetter your heart. Deliberately and intentionally water your whole self. Break your own tough ground - and be aware of ruts, mental or otherwise.

Who you are, what you do, and who you spend your time with affects you. This might come off sounding like common sense, but you'd be surprised... Sometimes, we're just waiting for someone else to tell us what we've been guessing all along. This idea of balance is not new. Many people over many years have all taken cracks at it - and I'm no master at it, either. But when you write, you are expressing yourself. All of you comes tumbling through the point of your pen or through each stroke of the keys. There are no filters and there is no inner-spell check. You're writing for people who need to hear you. And you're the only one who can write you. Make good art, then. And in writing good art, be at your personal best. Know how you work. Spend time with yourself - then who you truly are can flow with sparkling clarity and power.

Or, I dunno - do what you want. These are just words on a screen, not your conscience. If you'd like to read more on some of what I've been talking about, I highly recommend just about anything by author Brennan Manning - especially his Ragamuffin Gospel.
(I also believe you can youtube him, as well.)

happy writing!

- Ryan 

Why I Write

I don't care if anyone doesn't read this.
Well, that's a bit of a lie - just a touch, though.
Why do I write? Why do I want to write?

Part of it comes from pride. The idea, thought, notion of being able to claim the title and be called a writer - or even better - an Author calls me. Beckons me. It's easy to want these things when they're already done, or when you say you're working on some creative project. But as for the actual doing, that's hard.

When I was little, the library in my elementary school was magic. I actually had trouble learning how to read well, and so libraries were a bit of a mystery for me back then. Oh sure, I loved being read to, or adventuring through the innumerable picture book tales... but I was embarrassed about not being able to read like everyone else. It frustrated me - and publicly shamed me in front of my other classmates and friends. I was in first and second grade, so it was kinda a big deal (and it still is, I think).

I owe an undying debt of gratitude to Mrs. Yorth, my second grade teacher, for taking the extra time, after school, to help me to learn how to read. My school, River Grove Elementary, also put me into a specialized reading class. Looking back on it all, I feel like I had my own Marvel origin story in that class... I don't really know what they did to me, but once I got out I was reading at a high school level - and soon after, at a college level.

I remember the day some time not long after I was out of that special class, I walked into the library. To this very day, I can't remember why I walked in there... because I'd usually pass it by... maybe it was a Scholastic book fair or something, and I was drawn in by the bright pictures... who knows... But I remember walking in to a place where only a second before had been like an empty room full of absolutely nothing... and then suddenly it had been transformed without flash or bang. I was now standing in a vast treasure trove - unexplored and all mine. I could look at endless row after endless row and know what I was looking at. I could read any book I choose (or not). I think this ability is lost on most people. The simple wonder - the marvel - of being able to do as you please, when you please... I also experienced this wonder with words, as I suffered from severe stuttering during that time in my life, too.

To get into the computer lab, full of all those glowing green-screen Macintosh computers, we had to stand in line along this library back row... which just happened to be where most of the fantasy was shelved. Since my last name begins with 'F' I was sort of jumbled somewhere in the middle of the line. So as we waited for the Powers-That-Were to do whatever it is that they did back in the early 90's, I would stare at the fantasy titles and wonder. It's funny. Usually I kind of don't like how I am generally shorter than other people, again thanks to my bout with childhood leukemia... the same disease which stunted my growth, had also been involved with scarring my vocal chords, as well as affecting my critical thinking... So when it comes to book shelves, the first thing I generally see is anything about midway up or slightly lower. I see the buried authors first. I remember seeing the Susan Cooper's (The Dark is Rising series); I saw the Peter S. Beagle's (The Last Unicorn); and the Patricia C Wrede's (The Dealing With Dragons series).

People will find your books. They will. My self-pride about writing and authorhood is just full of itself. The right people will find your work at the right time, and in the right place. You will probably never hear about it. You will most likely never know about it. But good stories have a curious way of transcending time and space. They slip out into the world and nestle into strange hands in unimaginable places. I should know - I was one of those readers. To this very day, there are still lost bookish treasures I'm still desperately hunting for - still gems which gleam in the darkness of obscurity, waiting once more to be reclaimed.

Good books are treasures. They are invitations sent out into the lost parts of the vast world. They are keys to secret kingdoms with hidden gates tucked away in unlikely places (like the threshold of an elementary school computer lab...).

So write on - who knows what will come of your next good book.

- Ryan

What's the hardest part about writing?

What's the hardest part about writing?

I realize this probably varies from one person to the next, but for me, the hardest part about writing is the beginning. How does my story begin? Once I have the idea for a beginning, the rest can be 'pantzered' out. The tale falls into place. One of the things I always remembered from being forced to awkwardly butcher Shakespearean plays by reading them out loud together with the rest of my high school English classes, was how The Bard did his beginnings. His trick (and you can check it out yourself, of course) is always to begin with either an action scene or with something bawdy. I figured, hey! If that trick good enough for Will, then it's good enough for Ryan.

The second excellent piece of advice I've picked up about beginnings was actually from one of my favorite writers, CS Lewis. Mr. Lewis, in his essays, talks about how he starts writing stories- for him, they always begin with what he capitalized and called Desire and then with a specific image or two which sticks to his mind as he begins. I get that. For me, I usually have a mood or a feeling which I then extrapolate off of - as if the rest of the entire story to follow is only the materialization of an immaterial thing. Does this make me some sort of novice literary conjurer? Who knows? Maybe? On Desire - if you read Lewis' other works, you learn that when he says 'Desire' (with a Capital 'D', mind you), what he is really meaning is Joy (check out his Surprised by Joy, for more). When I write for long spells, I often fight between reveling when my wandering Muse finally decides to show up and just plain and simple not wanting to write any more that day. I've learned that, (and don't go spreading this around, will you?) it's okay to not always want to write. Don't, by any means, become a slave to your transient fairy Muse - for she's a cruel master, and rather neglectful at that. Joy is a living thing we chase. We chase it all our lives. (again, another excellent CS Lewis book on this his Pilgrim's Regress) For some of us doomed souls, telling stories makes up a significant amount of our chase. It's our Yearning - our Desire for something entirely Else which leads us on and on into realms hitherto unknown and unexplored. JRR Tolkien talks a bit about this in his wonderful On Fairy Stories... If this sounds like you- if you feel that inexpressible pull in your gut - BEWARE. Faerie is a perilous place. Don't try to get there. Do not attempt to lock your Desire into a vending machine. It won't work, and it can often drive you nuts.

Your calling to write is special. Let it remain so - free and unburdened. Allow yourself to follow it, however it chooses to express itself. Prepare as best you can for your Desire to pop up in the most unlikely of places. Be true to yourself and it. As CS Lewis's Master (and mine), George MacDonald, once said - 'More Life!' - don't burden and weary yourself with deadening things - let your rally cry be More Life! Whether it's new stories or simply focusing heartily and cheerfully on the task at hand.

Good luck, fellow Wanderer! And happy writing (when it comes)

-Ryan

The Written Art

Due to popular demand from several unconnected corners, I picked up a copy of Stephen King's On Writing. It's perfect. Exactly what I was looking for, in the exact tone I enjoy. Maybe it's normal for Mr. King to write this way... However it works out, I want to pass along knowledge learned as well as to dispel some common myths about writing and being a writer. Honestly, I don't know nearly as much as I feel I ought to, but I've been writing for a decade now, so I think I've earned a little bit of muscle from the experience.

What is a writer?
A writer is one who writes. And no, I'm not being cheeky. Seriously. Right now, as I'm pecking away I am a writer because I am writing. And yes, I can hear you hecklers in the back shouting, "but how about when you're NOT writing? Are you STILL a writer then?" The answer is Yes. I think being a writer is a path. So long as you've dedicated yourself to the written art, you are a writer. Period. Artists can't help but create (or subcreate... but that's a whole 'nother post). Sooner or later, you'll find yourself scribbling on Panera napkins or henpekcing away on a borrowed laptop. The craft calls to us - we hear and obey (besides, it's just plain fun).

How do you even write, bro?
I could wax poetic on this, but I won't. I don't need to anymore... I tip my hat (which yes, as a matter of fact, I AM wearing), to the brevity of author C.S. Lewis who once explained he beings with an image in his head and Desire in his heart, when it comes to writing. I personally think it's spot on. Some people like to think writers are some other sub-species of human, inhabiting coffee shops, dive-bars and lonely mountain retreats... and perhaps we do... but we also work 9-5 jobs and put our pants on one leg at a time like everybody else, as well. I think I would also like to add, in addition to Lewis' image, song as well. One of the biggest motivators for writing my first work, Rienspel, was traditional Celtic music like The Maid Who Sold Her Barely, The Butterfly, and especially Suil a Ruin. I heard them and instantly, I felt the pull - the call- to write. And so one day, I did. Don't think it's some misty, magical, timey-whimy, spacey-wacey, only-writers-have-this-experience. It's not. It may be special, but that only widens the blessing. We've all heard the art's call at one time or another. Pay attention to it, then simply find a place with a door that can close, sit down, and write. Just focus on getting it out. Don't worry if it's perfect or if everything's even spelled right... As Mr. King describes in his book, excavate the fossil that is your story. There's something there - get to it.

Pantser or Plotter?
Huh? Did he just say Panzer, Panther? Pants-er? No. Pantser. Apparently the way I just dive right into writing is not unique to me. And this is also the reason why my lovely wife and I tend to butt heads when it comes to Story creation. Whereas I just start writing- ready-fire-aim-style, and allow the Story to take me where it will, along with it's characters, Steph is a plotter. She plots. She likes to lay the whole thing out like a graphic designer - layering and layering until more or less satisfied. It's all grid-work and blue-prints for her. And while the eternal Pantser-Plotter war for the fate of the soul of Writer-kind may wage on through time and space, I want to let you know that it's ok to be either type. I can say this because I'm fairly sure Steph will never read this post, too... (And YES, you naysayers huddling next to those hecklers... I can hear you quite well... YES there are hybrid Pantser-Plotters, too.)

In Memorium
Write. Just DO it. Write your best. Read as much as you can, too. Reading well eventually translates to writing well, you know. Feed your imagination. Know who you're writing for and why. Be able to write that down as well. For example, My name is Ryan P. Freeman. I am a writer. I am writing, ideally (and in no particular order), for myself, Steph, Logan, Jennie, Josiah, Robert, and Jon Jon (just to name a few). I am writing because I believe good Story is the backdoor to the soul, and because I genuinely enjoy doing it.

I am Ryan P. Freeman, and I am a writer.

How about you?