Why I Write

I don't care if anyone doesn't read this.
Well, that's a bit of a lie - just a touch, though.
Why do I write? Why do I want to write?

Part of it comes from pride. The idea, thought, notion of being able to claim the title and be called a writer - or even better - an Author calls me. Beckons me. It's easy to want these things when they're already done, or when you say you're working on some creative project. But as for the actual doing, that's hard.

When I was little, the library in my elementary school was magic. I actually had trouble learning how to read well, and so libraries were a bit of a mystery for me back then. Oh sure, I loved being read to, or adventuring through the innumerable picture book tales... but I was embarrassed about not being able to read like everyone else. It frustrated me - and publicly shamed me in front of my other classmates and friends. I was in first and second grade, so it was kinda a big deal (and it still is, I think).

I owe an undying debt of gratitude to Mrs. Yorth, my second grade teacher, for taking the extra time, after school, to help me to learn how to read. My school, River Grove Elementary, also put me into a specialized reading class. Looking back on it all, I feel like I had my own Marvel origin story in that class... I don't really know what they did to me, but once I got out I was reading at a high school level - and soon after, at a college level.

I remember the day some time not long after I was out of that special class, I walked into the library. To this very day, I can't remember why I walked in there... because I'd usually pass it by... maybe it was a Scholastic book fair or something, and I was drawn in by the bright pictures... who knows... But I remember walking in to a place where only a second before had been like an empty room full of absolutely nothing... and then suddenly it had been transformed without flash or bang. I was now standing in a vast treasure trove - unexplored and all mine. I could look at endless row after endless row and know what I was looking at. I could read any book I choose (or not). I think this ability is lost on most people. The simple wonder - the marvel - of being able to do as you please, when you please... I also experienced this wonder with words, as I suffered from severe stuttering during that time in my life, too.

To get into the computer lab, full of all those glowing green-screen Macintosh computers, we had to stand in line along this library back row... which just happened to be where most of the fantasy was shelved. Since my last name begins with 'F' I was sort of jumbled somewhere in the middle of the line. So as we waited for the Powers-That-Were to do whatever it is that they did back in the early 90's, I would stare at the fantasy titles and wonder. It's funny. Usually I kind of don't like how I am generally shorter than other people, again thanks to my bout with childhood leukemia... the same disease which stunted my growth, had also been involved with scarring my vocal chords, as well as affecting my critical thinking... So when it comes to book shelves, the first thing I generally see is anything about midway up or slightly lower. I see the buried authors first. I remember seeing the Susan Cooper's (The Dark is Rising series); I saw the Peter S. Beagle's (The Last Unicorn); and the Patricia C Wrede's (The Dealing With Dragons series).

People will find your books. They will. My self-pride about writing and authorhood is just full of itself. The right people will find your work at the right time, and in the right place. You will probably never hear about it. You will most likely never know about it. But good stories have a curious way of transcending time and space. They slip out into the world and nestle into strange hands in unimaginable places. I should know - I was one of those readers. To this very day, there are still lost bookish treasures I'm still desperately hunting for - still gems which gleam in the darkness of obscurity, waiting once more to be reclaimed.

Good books are treasures. They are invitations sent out into the lost parts of the vast world. They are keys to secret kingdoms with hidden gates tucked away in unlikely places (like the threshold of an elementary school computer lab...).

So write on - who knows what will come of your next good book.

- Ryan

Current Musings

So do I want to make writing what I do all the time?

Sure thing!

How? - that's the question I'm buzzing my brain about lately... I'm currently reading an excellent book on the writing career of Neil Gaiman... and one of the big things I've noticed so far is how he didn't just try to get published... with the whole traditional route and everything. What he did (as well as Stephen King, to an extent) was go to where people would publish him. And he would typically only write and pursue what he loved. What awesome advice. A lot of times, the beginning people who would publish him were softcore porn magazines - buying up his articles to fill those pages not full of pictures. Through this process, he made connections... like-minded friends who loved similar things. It wasn't about networking- it was about continuing to pursue what he loves - and I think that is the key to staying above the soul-less papermills...

Another thing I noticed was how Neil Gaiman didn't just write- he branched out into different mediums of story, too! Wherever the story was fresh and new - that's where he ended up... because he was following whatever he loved and he had an excellent BS detector. He invested in himself.

The last thing I've noticed so far, it's that he surrounded himself with friends who lived in a place where they could meet and get right to their art. They weren't necessarily at the whim and mercy of big publishers or had to yell into the hurricane of social media or e-publishing.


I know with the advent of e-publishing and the shifting of publishing power, the story landscape has and is changing... but it leaves me wondering what is possible now! And since I don't know what is possible, it means I can do anything I like - which is perfect.

-Ryan

What's the hardest part about writing?

What's the hardest part about writing?

I realize this probably varies from one person to the next, but for me, the hardest part about writing is the beginning. How does my story begin? Once I have the idea for a beginning, the rest can be 'pantzered' out. The tale falls into place. One of the things I always remembered from being forced to awkwardly butcher Shakespearean plays by reading them out loud together with the rest of my high school English classes, was how The Bard did his beginnings. His trick (and you can check it out yourself, of course) is always to begin with either an action scene or with something bawdy. I figured, hey! If that trick good enough for Will, then it's good enough for Ryan.

The second excellent piece of advice I've picked up about beginnings was actually from one of my favorite writers, CS Lewis. Mr. Lewis, in his essays, talks about how he starts writing stories- for him, they always begin with what he capitalized and called Desire and then with a specific image or two which sticks to his mind as he begins. I get that. For me, I usually have a mood or a feeling which I then extrapolate off of - as if the rest of the entire story to follow is only the materialization of an immaterial thing. Does this make me some sort of novice literary conjurer? Who knows? Maybe? On Desire - if you read Lewis' other works, you learn that when he says 'Desire' (with a Capital 'D', mind you), what he is really meaning is Joy (check out his Surprised by Joy, for more). When I write for long spells, I often fight between reveling when my wandering Muse finally decides to show up and just plain and simple not wanting to write any more that day. I've learned that, (and don't go spreading this around, will you?) it's okay to not always want to write. Don't, by any means, become a slave to your transient fairy Muse - for she's a cruel master, and rather neglectful at that. Joy is a living thing we chase. We chase it all our lives. (again, another excellent CS Lewis book on this his Pilgrim's Regress) For some of us doomed souls, telling stories makes up a significant amount of our chase. It's our Yearning - our Desire for something entirely Else which leads us on and on into realms hitherto unknown and unexplored. JRR Tolkien talks a bit about this in his wonderful On Fairy Stories... If this sounds like you- if you feel that inexpressible pull in your gut - BEWARE. Faerie is a perilous place. Don't try to get there. Do not attempt to lock your Desire into a vending machine. It won't work, and it can often drive you nuts.

Your calling to write is special. Let it remain so - free and unburdened. Allow yourself to follow it, however it chooses to express itself. Prepare as best you can for your Desire to pop up in the most unlikely of places. Be true to yourself and it. As CS Lewis's Master (and mine), George MacDonald, once said - 'More Life!' - don't burden and weary yourself with deadening things - let your rally cry be More Life! Whether it's new stories or simply focusing heartily and cheerfully on the task at hand.

Good luck, fellow Wanderer! And happy writing (when it comes)

-Ryan

Drum Roll Please!

And now, after nearly a decade of blood, sweat, tears and pestering... Ryan P. Freeman is proud to announce...

THE OFFICIAL COVER FOR RIENSPEL!!

I would like to especially thank Laura Faraci, whom I had the wonderful pleasure of working with via 99Designs. It was a hard choice which came right on down to a three-way tie, but her persistence, vision and charm helped prove her design the best, in my opinion. 

Even now, she's hard at work designing the cover for my next work, an e-novelette called 

The Grey Isle Tale! - If you'd like to help donate toward my next work's cover, you can check out https://www.gofundme.com/TheGreyIsleTale 

Thank you everyone who helped weigh in on the recent design process and who helped encourage me for nearly a decade to keep on dreaming and writing- this one is for you!

-Ryan

Advice from a Tuesday Morning

Most days when I wake up, one of the first things I do is check my phone. This morning I read a series of frantic texts, two missed phone calls and one quick message all having to do with work-related stuff. Years ago, at a far more stressful job than I have now, I learned that when I'm at home, I'm at home. I don't care if there's a dire time crunch which can be heroically solved by no one but me. I'll shrug my shoulders (just you watch me) when i hear there's this gigantic huge colossal meeting tomorrow morning and can you do this one favor for me...

I set my phone down and decided to have a nice morning, instead. (it takes practice, but it can be accomplished) I chatted with my wife over coffee about philosophy and mathematics. I savored my bowl of peanut butter crunch. I petted my dogs on the way out the door and checked on my new (now blooming!) trumpeter vine. I sang along to my music and watched the early fall shadows dance across the road on the way to work. After I clocked in, then I took care of business. Right before the (expected and predictable) phone call from said frantic person, I suggested that there are more important things to life than work. I was polite and brief- and I was appreciated for it.

I feel like my day today has some logical chain linking through the next few emails I received...

This one is from one of my favorite (living) authors, Donald Miller. Miller writes,

"Nearly 80 years ago a psychologist named Viktor Frankl stood up to Sigmund Freud. Freud was saying that the primary desire of man was to pursue pleasure, but Frankl disagreed. He said the primary desire of every person was to experience a deep sense of meaning, and when they can’t find meaning, they numb themselves with pleasure.

Frankl said there are three components of a meaningful life.

Here they are: 

1. A project that demands your attention: Simply have something important that you’re working on that requires you to get out of bed every day. Turns out we weren’t designed to sit and study our belly buttons. We need to find a useful purpose in the world.

2. Unconditional friends: Life is best lived in community and so relationships matter. To experience a deep sense of meaning, we need to surround ourselves with people who love and accept us as we are. We need close, loving relationships.

3. A redemptive perspective on our suffering: Life is full of challenges and sometimes even tragedies. To experience meaning, we must redeem these difficult things by finding a perspective on them that betters our lives. To experience meaning, we can’t let tragedies take us down. We need to redeem them.

If 2015 was another one of those years that felt bland and routine, it’s time to make a new plan. Until we make a new plan and execute that plan, nothing will change."

Next I read from a literary e-magazine I receive:

"Do you feel the creative juices drying up? Has the stress of the day or the week or the “pick your period of time” got you struggling to put down a coherent passage on paper (computer screen)? Never fear because I have just the thing for you. Here are my five cures for those times when you lack the energy to be creative:

1. Free thought time: Find a hobby centered on creativity outside of writing. Get out of the writer head-space, and redirect your creativity to another activity--something that involves a different way to create. Whether it’s photography, sketching, painting, knitting, etc., alternate creative endeavors can give your creativity more depth and distinctiom.
   
   
2. A walk in the woods: Or on a greenway or in a park, walk wherever you connect with nature. Nature can do wonders to reboot your creativity. The crisp air, the smell of the greenery, the thrill of watching wildlife, there are countless ways in the wild to disconnect from hang-ups and kick-start your creativity.
   
   
3. Work it out by hand: Step away from the computer and your normal writing space, grab a pen and notepad, and start writing without judgement. Just let it flow. You will most likely do some of the worst writing you’ve ever done using this method, but the quality of writing isn’t the point. The point here is to clear your mind of all that junk so you can make way for creative excellence.
   
   
4. Meditate: I’m a student of Transcendental Meditation, and I can tell you from personal experience that meditation makes you feel more balanced and less stressed. Sitting in the dark with your eyes closed for 15-20 minutes focusing on nothing is an excellent way to make for a more fertile, creative mind.
   
   
5. Set yourself up to be inspired: A great book, film or play often inspires me to start creating. I find inspiration in the author’s/creator’s talent, and I’m driven to improve as an artist."

Your days are probably hurtling forwards. These months in particular are jam-packed with events and deadlines, due-dates and obligations... When it comes to writing, or working, or just living life- slow down and smell the roses. Enable yourself to be in a place or state of mind, as best you can, so you can enjoy life and relish the sheer gift which surrounds us. I realize I probably sound like a dirty, pot-smoking hippie... but either that's your thing, too or you're like me - and have realized with everything life throws at us, we would rather strive to be happy than rich, accepted, powerful or influential.

Happy Tuesday and Write On!

-Ryan 

Louis Borges on Writing...

 Poet Jorge Luis Borges once wrote,

"It’s possible that the fact that literature has been commercialized now in a way it never was before has had an influence. That is, the fact that people now talk about “bestsellers,” that fashion has an influence (something that didn’t use to happen). I remember that when I began to write, we never thought about the success or failure of a book. What’s called “success” now didn’t exist at that time. And what’s called “failure” was taken for granted. One wrote for oneself and, maybe, as Stevenson used to say, for a small group of friends. On the other hand, one now thinks of sales. I know there are writers who publicly announce they’ve had their fifth, sixth, or seventh edition released and that they’ve earned such and such an amount of money. All that would have appeared totally ridiculous when I was a young man; it would have appeared incredible. People would have thought that a writer who talks about what he earns on his books is implying: “I know what I write is bad but I do it for financial reasons or because I have to support my family.” So I view that attitude almost as a form of modesty. Or of plain foolishness."

As I'm preparing to publish my first two works, Rienspel and The Grey Isle Tale, I've been furiously studying other authors' suggestion on the process. But something kept bugging me the whole time... see, I'm not writing to get rich (Sure, it would be nice...) - but because I simply love what I write, and write what I love. Trying to figure out the whole process has been a bit intimidating, sure. I don't really feel like I have the zillions of dollars to simply bankroll my way through hiring an agent - and I don't really think I have any notable connections with the publishing world, either. I'm not exactly a household name, nor do I have anything remarkable to really contribute to the twittersphere, either. 

But that's ok. Perfectly ok, actually. I am writing what I love. I hope if you read what I write, you enjoy it too. That's it. That's all I'm going for here. CS Lewis also said something encouraging about originality, which helped keep me going too:

 "Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often is has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed in."

So if you're a writer- write. If you're a singer- sing. If you're a gamer- game. And leave all thought of public opinion and propriety in the dust where they belong.

-Ryan

Rienspelling the Morning Away...

I cannot wait until Rienspel is published.
Seriously.

I woke up this morning and the winds which punctuate these late midwestern storms like so many commas were blowing through my backyard's trees. Later on, still thinking about the indescribable feeling I get when I think about Rienspel - the feel which has grown up from one single simple map sketch into a raging torrent of words and pages into this singularly great story... oh, I'm excited for it to be published.

I've learned if I focus on it too long - like strong drink or heady perfume - the feel can fill me up and make me ache. Like I said - it's kinda hard to describe. I want you to know, faithful reader, how each page, each character was worked over carefully. I know most of those reading this post are not numbered among the very few beta-readers I use... but oh, you are in for a treat.

You've probably noticed how I'm working on a different novel right now... The Grey Isle (The Path of Flames ? - I dunno, I'm still working on a title). And you're probably asking yourself, right along with me, hey Ryan - why don't you just keep working on Rienspel? You know... we're all going to want to get our paws on book two of the Phoenix of Redd series once we're finished! Well, the truth is I can't right now. Oh sure, I mean I can physically sit down at my desk and write, for sure... but I can't write IT yet. Writing something like this, which means so terribly much to me (and you should hear how my wife, Steph, goes on about how I care too much about what I write...) takes something out of me. I have to recharge. I have to let my heart and spirit breathe after soaring so high into the starry heavens.

I want you to know that this story, which so many people have helped make possible for me to write and bring to you... (and please try to keep the eye-rolling to a minimum here) Rienspel WANTS to be written. It's like a sentient creature, or like some sort of tale whose particularly delicious aroma has wafted out over that tenuous wall which separates us from Faerie. (SHHHH. keep your thoughts down, will you! - or they'll hear!) Speak too loudly about even the idea and it vanishes. I'm serious. It's like the moment when you are dreaming and you fully realize it is a dream... and then the more you struggle to remain in dreamland the more rapidly you rise to waking. We adventure in perilous lands best left to unexpectedly lucky widow's sons.... lost princesses... and those who long... deep, deep in their hearts for something BETTER.

Rienspel is my shot at it. It's just a book, yes. But what a book! The ideas within them... the subtle presuppositions laced, layer over layer, beckon even me for something... some grand thing... which is deeper, higher and greater than we dare hope to realize...

But like I said, it's kinda hard to explain.

- Cheers

Ryan

ps- for a treat, check out the youtube playlist I arranged to get your Rienspeling whimsy going: