On Despondency

On Despondency

"To have what we want is riches; but to be able to do without is power."

- George MacDonald 

 

 
I will write until something comes to mind. Sometimes it's good just to let yourself wander. After all, as the infamous Mr Baggins once wrote, "Not all who wander are lost." The quote is on a piece of art hanging up next to me in my office; I think it serves as timely reminder for us all. Since writing can often be a bit of a head game, despondency can be a real creative killer. When it's basically up to you, the writer, to keep going, the long lonely stretches can be challenging...

One of the things I've learned along the way, is how by continuing to write you build muscles. When I first read in Stephen King's On Writing how he types about 4,000 words a day, I was admittedly staggered. Immediately, my mind went from awe, to jealousy, to disbelief, and finally to dreaded despondency. How could I EVER write that much on a regular basis, I grumbled. Likewise, on Amazon's new author updates I receive, I'm bombarded by all these smiling, successful authors who gush about their dedication to their art.

And then there's me. I'm lucky to find spare moments to peck out a few pages at a time, much less dedicate scheduled time for 'making good art'. What's to be done for the rest of us regulars?

Keep going.

Any way you can - do it. Only you can express it. Only you can write it just so.

Also, remember you're not Stephen King. You're (probably) not any of those gushy, successful new authors featured in Amazon newsletters, either.... But you're you. (and they're not; in fact, nobody else in all existence is) So long as you keep going as best you can, your work continues to live and grow and ultimately, be yours.

One of the types of stories I like to read are about near-death-experiences. (I know, I know, please forgive the apparent randomness) In some of them, they describe a sort of library filled with all the books ever written. For a fantasy-writer like myself, this sort of material is gold! Imagine, a place where every book ever written exists (including your own). In these descriptions, in this library, there resides a large wing filled with all the books and stories which exist but were never actually written. Whether you believe in this sort of stuff is entirely up to you, of course - but I think the notion remains rather sobering.

What great wonders and heart-felt treasures never grace the earth because someone never wrote them down?

Now, I don't tell you all this to shame you or guilt you or anything like that - but to remind you, what you write, big or small, great or just for fun, matters. We write for ourselves and other people. We write because we must. We type and scribble on because we love to. We write because It Matters.

We are given each day what we need to keep going, and sometimes we must be forced to slow down in order to appreciate it. Sometimes (*gasp, dare I admit), we need to be stressed, tired, and generally over-worked, so we are forced to go back and shelter in what we love best. And as we stumble on, we must look around with new eyes upon the everyday, in order to see the mundane afresh. When we next pick up the keyboard or pen, we're ready to bring keen literary life into our world. Our hands may be callused and weary as we write, but they're still our own. They make each word we spell and each sentence we string that much more ours.

So come marauding dragons or long boring work-weeks - Write on.

"Good night and joy be with you all"

- Ryan

Awake, Oh Sleeper!

 Awake, Oh Sleeper!

Every small thing is meaningful -
Especially when it comes to writing.

Sometimes, over the long-haul, it's the endurance to keep writing which is the hardest. Be aware of what you're writing and when you have ideas. Jot them down. Don't put them aside until you have! Inspiration can come from the strangest of places. I've come to realize that imagination is the back door to the soul. We humans are creative powder kegs waiting for just the hint of the smallest spark. Be aware of who you are and what excites your passion at a knee-jerk level. Take time to get away, even if its just a walk through a nearby park. Pacing your endurance and tending to your imagination are essential not just for creating great art, but for you as a person.

Too many times, I've heard the term escapism flung at my genre, fantasy. If you're not familiar with the term escapism, it has to generally do with the idea that fantasy is just 'escaping from the supposed real world'. It's an objection which has floated around for quite some time now. Tolkien once asked C.S. Lewis who was opposed to escape.

His answer?
“Jailers.”

Now, I'm not trying to be overtly conspiratorial here or anything; however, who's to say what 'real' is? The two most powerful words in existence are as follows: What If. It's easy to go to school day in day out, or punch the time-card Mon-Fri, 9-5... but is that really the entire circumference of our lives?

One of the reasons I like fantasy is because I feel like the world of long ago has a soul-stirring straightforwardness to it. It's one filled with unlikely peasant heroes, who take up the enchanted sword or the impossible quest against Darkness. It's one where words like heroism and justice mean more than just civil service or legality.

Imagine, for a moment, that the lens of fantasy is not relegated to quasi-medieval Europe. If there was a wicked aunt or an evil king, what would a hero do? Protagonists from legends past would resist and eventually overcome them. Similarly, Niel Gaiman once said, "Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."
How much have we been pacified and numbed by our modern culture? What modern spells have put us into an enchanted sleep? And what will it take to break the spell?

I don't yet know.

But I do know that imagination is the backdoor to the soul. I know that with the right story, as a key to ancient locks of secret gardens, slumbering heroes can once again be re-awakened.

My favorite part of the entire Chronicles of Narnia is when for a moment, as Lucy wanders through the forest at night, the trees have all half-awakened at the coming of Aslan; in the moonlight, they all dance around the Great Lion.

I do not count myself as one of the waking ones, but one of the half-slumberers still. When I write, I am trying to wake up - rising up through deep waters to waking. What we see meanwhile, in this dreamtime, may indeed be frightening. It is not overt terror of monsters we now flee from - but the Yawn. From the lie of purposelessness, determinism, and timidity. 

I believe that who we are is yet to be seen. Good stories help awaken us with a whisper and a gleam of something far better and higher than we can now imagine or dream. 

Have you felt it, too? 
Will you heed the clarion summons?

When I read from the great masters, those who have seen and have written back for us, I know I am not them. I am not a great hero nor a wise sage. I'm just me. But perhaps we're exactly who we need to be, where we are, for a reason and purpose greater than all our modern culture has presupposed. As someone else once wrote, "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future."

What you do and who you are matters. Never forget that.